Reminiscing.

It breaks my heart sometimes.

I’ve learned to move on, yes. I’ve learned to let go. But how do you truly rid yourself of something that’s very much ingrained in you.

Every single cell in our body is replaced every seven years. But that doesn’t mean that in 7 years I will be an entirely different person. I will still have my black hair and my brown chinky eyes. I’m still me.

It’s like a family tree. I’ve never met my ancestors, but they brought my mother into this world, who then brought me into this world. Without them, I would not exist. In the same way, my past memories lived and died. I may try to run away from it. I may try to forget. But like a family tree, every single thought in my mind is intertwined, and my present thoughts, just being born as I am typing, stem from those past memories. It’s family. It’s the connections we make that make us human. Without these connections, our lives would be completely meaningless.

We wouldn’t connect a “hug” to “love,” for example, or “smile” to “happy.”

And “happy” would mean nothing to us. Nothing would mean anything.

Perhaps it’s time I stop trying to hard to escape my past. I can come to terms with it, or keep a healthy distance from it. But I think it’s about time I realize that my past will forever be intertwined with my very being.

So here’s to accepting my past as a part of me, no matter how much it hurts.